Days In Monsterville

Green Hornet was a largely unremarkable film.

I knew that coming in, more or less. Seth Rogan is no great American actor. He’s not even very good. He has his one character, and I guess he plays it dutifully, the sort-of slacker guy who’s kind of smarmy and who, if you ever met him in the real world, you’d probably want to punch him in the mouth.

There were some interesting moments when Rogan and the guy who played the Hornet’s sidekick, Kato, discussed the nature of superheroes and their sidekicks. I liked the interplay of the rich but ultimately useless (or barely useless) in a fight hero and his talented, genius sidekick, and wished there could be more of that and, well, less of Rogan as Hornet smirking and leering his way through the film.

Now the film is kind of stupid, and I wasn’t surprised to see it handled its violence so glibly. During their initial adventure, Hornet and Kato thwart a group of criminals who set upon a couple and, after a stylized fight, the duo escapes in its Hornetmobile.

A dumb chase ensues, but at one point Kato (who’s doing the driving) uses his car to smash a police car into a third car. The cop car does a miraculous flip and rolls/crashes into a storefront fully inverted. This is not the kind of accident people walk away from. It’s likely the kind of accident where they call it in DOA, or else you’re looking an extended hospital stay and maybe brain damage, a wheelchair, or without some limbs.
Returning home, the heroes celebrate. They’re excited their initial foray into crimefighting went so well. They don’t spend one second thinking about the cop they must surely have killed or maimed.

Do other people think about this? I mean, we’ve grown desensitized for sure. I swallowed the scene not with revulsion or horror, but rather resignation. Of course the heroes wouldn’t be thoughtful about stuff like that. It wouldn’t make them reevaluate their tactics or think about turning themselves in. That would be, I don’t know, smart. And Green Hornet was certainly not a smart movie.

The film was also, of course, in 3D. I’ve railed against 3D before. It doesn’t add anything.

Oh, and when the movie ended, a crazy woman began clapping and hooting. “Bravo, Green Hornet!” she screamed.

I wish I was watching the movie she was.